7 Tips to Reduce Negative Self-Talk

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” Brené Brown

Our words have tremendous power.  They possess the ability to lift us up or bring us down.  While we often choose our words carefully when speaking to others, we may not be so careful with what we say to ourselves. How kind and compassionate are those words?

 If you’d like to improve your self-talk, here are some tips to guide you:

1. Awareness: Start by noticing the words you use when speaking to yourself. Identify the most common negative statements you make.  Pay particular attention to statements containing absolute terms like “never,” “always,” and “every.”
2. Acknowledge: Rather than ignoring or dismissing those thoughts, recognize that they reveal underlying beliefs about yourself. Appreciate this insight and consider saying “thank you for sharing.”
3. Examine: Delve deeper into the origins of these thoughts. What evidence supports these statements? Question the validity of these beliefs and challenge their accuracy.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Imagine a friend speaking these same words about themselves. How would you respond?  Extend the same kindness and compassion to yourself that you would to a friend in need.
5. Modify: Reframe those negative statements into empowering ones. Instead of berating yourself with a phrase like “I’m such an idiot,” shift to something like “I don’t know how to do this yet, but I can learn.”
6. Focus on Solutions: Rather than dwelling on mistakes or problems, shift your focus to potential solutions and opportunities for growth. Understand that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process.  See this as an opportunity for self-improvement.
7. Practice, Practice, Practice: Reprogram your thought patterns by consistently repeating new, positive statements. Choose affirmations that resonate with your beliefs and values, avoiding extremes.  For instance, instead of saying, “My memory is perfect,” opt for “I am learning new skills to improve my memory.”

You can also use EFT tapping to help get to the root of these statements and to create new patterns of thinking.  Check out my video on Negative Self Talk and tap with me.

Remember, your mind is always with you.  Choose to fill it with kind and supportive words.